Late Night Last Night

So yesterday my dad invited this friend his, Diane, who is a mom at the elementary school, over for a cookout. Now, Diane is nice, and funny, and she can take a good joke on herself, but that's not why I was happy to have her over. I was happy because Diane is the only other person in the entire universe who Daddy teases as much as he teases me. And for the afternoon I got to sit back and watch Daddy rag her like you wouldn't believe. Of course, Diane can rag Daddy just as hard, so it was pure entertainment. And for once the focus was not on me. I flew under the radar.

Well, until Tyler showed up. He invited me over to make beer bread (which, to my surprise, does not taste like beer and isn't alcoholic) and when he stopped by for a hot dog and to pick me up my Dad starts going on about how low cut my shirt was and did I wear that for Tyler? My shirt was not low cut, for your information. Hell, he PICKED THIS SHIRT OUT AT KMART. He LIKES this shirt. I could have killed him. It's not easy to embarrass me but count on Daddy to manage it. Of course, Tyler loves to tease me almost as much as Daddy does, so they BOTH started ragging on me and Diane sat back, grateful no doubt, for getting a break.

Well Tyler and I blew that joint before I got arrested for domestic abuse on my father and went on the hunt for self rising flour. Tyler, in his everlasting wisdom, forgot about self rising flour in his first batch of beer bread and thus ended up with more of a beer cracker.

Then we headed to his apartment to make the beer bread. Since Tyler reads this blog I will skip over the abhorrent state of his apartment, and also the making of the beer bread, which is easy and boring.

The beer bread turned out pretty well. We kicked back on his tiny back porch and ate it. His roommate Jeremy locked out of the apartment, Tyler mooned him, we watched Anchorman until around ten. All in all a good evening.

Oh, and my little brother collects bottle caps. Can anyone explain this? Like, what is the appeal in bottle caps? He's got an entire tupperware tub of them and God help you if you touch it. WTF? Can't he collect something cool, like rocks or stamps or something? What can you do with fifty Bud Ice bottle caps?

Word of the Day: Schematics

"I’ve got elixirs and schematics. I don’t even know what schematics are but I want them back there because I know schematics belong in labs." - Dane Cook.

Let me tell you, you are one cool dude of you have schematics. Spies and super cool art thieves have schematics. You are in good company.